Thursday, November 01, 2007

Remembering You!!!

Lily,

It is morning. Daddy is off to work and your big brother is still asleep. I am thinking about you, and missing you. The house is quite and I can't helping thinking about what it would be like if you were here. I remember those early morning getting up with Luke. I would bring him into bed with me and we would both fall back to sleep. Those were some of my favorite times with him. Was looking forward to that with you. I still can't believe you are gone. I miss you so much. You are my perfect little angel and I know you are being taken care of. You would have been almost two months old now, and I wish I could have seen your little smile. Luke talks about you and prays for you every night. Wish he could have gotten to know you, and so do I. He would have been a good big brother. Please watch over him and protect him when I am not able. You have made such an impact on my life. I never knew I could feel this way, although my heart aches for you, I have such a great love for you. You are so special to me. I will never forget you and can't wait to see you again someday. I love you my little Lily.

Mommy

7 comments:

Jules said...

I found a beautiful poem the other day and immediately thought of you. And when I read your letter to Lily, I thought about posting this poem I found. I don't want to make you more sad, but I think it is beautiful. Love ya, and am always praying for comfort for you and your family!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry I didn't get to stay.
To laugh and run and play.
To be there by your side.
I'm sorry that I had to die.
God sent me down to be with you,
to make your loving heart anew.
To help you look up and see
Both God and little me.
Mommy, I wish I could stay.
Just like I heard you pray.
But, all the angels did cry
when they told little me goodbye.
God didn't take me cause' He's mad.
He didn't send me to make you sad.
But to give us both a chance to be
a love so precious...don't you see?
Up here no trouble do I see
and the pretty angels sing to me.
The streets of gold is where I play
you'll come here too, mommy, someday.
Until the day you join me here,
I'll love you mommy, dear.
Each breeze you feel and see,
brings love and a kiss from me.

Trina said...

First of all that poem has me in tears!! It is so perfect, yet so hard to endure. Beth I think its great that you are writing to Lily. Keep that up. I think I would do the same thing. I am one who has so much in my heart and on my mind with this sort of stuff I think I would be like an open flood gate. Grieve....its good to grieve and pray. God will continue to have mercy, Beth. Continue to hang on, and remembering we are still praying for you.

Anonymous said...

Beth, I am so thankful you are able to use your blog to express your feelings. May God continue to comfort you and give words to those around you that will give a joy in your heart! Love you!

marykathryn said...

Hey Beth,
Your letter to Lily is so sweet and her memory will always be with us all!! Thanks for sharing your thought with us. Jules poem also made me cry that I could barely finish it...
Hope you have a good day! You have my prayers!

meNmykids said...

We are still praying for your comfort and we won't stop soon. Greiving takes time. It is good to be open about it, bottling things up doesn't work. The poem that Jules posted was beautiful, hope it touched you too.

Trina said...

Beth,
Where did you get the blinkies that have Lily and Lukes names on them? I would like to make some to put under my boys names too, if ya dont mind. Do you mind sharing?

I love that you have blinkies for luke and lily! Great idea!

Anonymous said...

Hi Beth, I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you. I know the pain must seem unbearable and my heart is aching for you. I have three sons, but in between, I lost two babies. It has always been incredibly painful, it was the shock of my life, but God's grace has been sufficient through it all. Scripture was the only truth that sunk in and at times I ate it like manna just to get me through. I can tell you that my husband and I have grown immensely in our faith and it is amazing what the Lord has done in our lives. There's something mysterious about going through a tragedy with your spouse...but I've seen his faith prosper in a way that is unimaginable.
When I see children "that age" sometimes still I just uh, my heart just physically hurts. But, as you said, someday we will see them again and what a beautiful reunion it will be. Whatever the reason God allowed these things to happen, I know He is faithful to us. I know He is sufficient. Keep the faith and continuously seek Him.
Your daughter is beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing her pictures and how you are coping with it all. I am sorry that my words cannot take your pain away, I wish they could. I sincerely pray for you. A sister in Christ, Katrina